“I hate running… I love having ran.” The Groan Zone in a nutshell.

A study of the “groan zone”. Pushing through the challenging parts of process in order to get to the side of accomplishment.

“I hate writing. I love having written,” Kelly Boswell says as she leads a room full of eager teachers at her writing workshop seminars. This saying has always stuck with me because the feeling is mutual. I hate writing (or at least have strongly disliked writing for many years). That said, upon contemplation, I realized there are actually quite a few things I “strongly dislike” doing in the moment, some of which I consider favorite activities. Here’s the main one that comes to mind:

I HATE… running.

An odd comment to say for someone who loves playing sports. Basketball? 4 quarters of back and forth sprinting. Soccer? Essentially a 90-minute test of endurance and willpower. But when it comes to running… the treadmill, a neighborhood street, the trail… I always come to the same conclusion. I hate it.

Here’s how a typical run goes. Welcome inside my thoughts:

Initial thought- “I should go for a trail run! I’ve been sitting all day, it’ll be good for me, and if I’m tired, it can always just turn into a hike.” (Notice how I trick myself into having an out. Mistake #1.)

1 mile in- “Ooh, this is a little harder than I thought it would be. I’ll just take a little walking break. No! That’s wimping out. Would I encourage the (basketball) players I coach to give up at the first sign of fatigue? No way. It’s only a mile. Pull it together and keep going.” (I tend to have a “tough coach” persona motivate me through the early stages.)

2 miles in- “This was a stupid idea. My ankle is still sore from when I got kicked in the soccer game two months ago. Now I’m going to be too tired to work out tomorrow. I’m only 2 miles in. How pathetic. I am not a runner. I should just call myself a hiker.” (Oh boy, does the negative self talk come out… it’s not healthy, nor is it productive, but more than a mile in, it sure makes itself known. Despite how many times I’ve played this game, that nagging voice still comes out. The difference in moving forward is whether I choose to listen.)

Welcome to the GROAN ZONE.

The groan zone is that point where you feel so stuck and down that you seriously consider turning back and giving up. In a run, it’s the point before what you’ve determined as halfway (be that time or distance) where you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, so negativity tries to outweigh the soon to be achieved benefits.

I first heard of the “groan zone” when introduced to Sam Kaner’s Diamond Model of Participation, during a teacher leadership workshop held by my district. It was going to be my first official time as lead facilitator for a group of fellow educators (little did I know that the experience would lead to my full-time role as an instructional coach/Teacher on Special Assignment, but that’s another story). Since then, it has always stuck with me as a reminder of the phases we go through, be it collaborative or even a solo project.

The Diamond Model- a quick summary:

You and your teammates are faced with a problem. As you start to brainstorm, you collaborate and welcome diverse perspectives (divergent thinking), even ones that do not fit within the constraints. In design thinking, this phase is the space for wild ideas. Just like improv, it’s the “Yes and…” game where quantity rules over quality. You’re still optimistic at this point because the journey has just begun.

And then WHAM! The emergent phase happens. Enter the Groan Zone. In collaboration, you’re at a phase where your team is tasked with making some tough decisions. Which idea(s) do you prioritize? How do you facilitate the shift from sticking by your opinion (because obviously yours is “right”) to truly seeing and hearing the opinions of others? How do you rank which idea to pursue? How do you move from divergent thinking into convergent thinking in order to reach a solution, a place of closure? Do you just turn back, call it a day, and pick up the project tomorrow? Or worse, scrap the project and start something new?

First step- Recognizing you’re in the groan zone. Too often when challenges come up, we tend to not accurately identify them for what they are. When you know you’re in the groan zone, you can switch from all of that negative self-talk, and instead switch to productive action steps to help move along in the process. Carrie Cappel has some great strategies in this blog post on moving from groan zone to growth zone.

In the Facilitator’s Guide to Participatory Decision-Making, Sam Kaner shared,

"When people experience discomfort in the midst of a group decision- making process, they often take it as evidence that their group is dysfunctional. As their impatience increases, so does their disillusion with the process. Many projects are abandoned prematurely for exactly this reason. In such cases, it's not that the goals were ill conceived; it's that the Groan Zone was perceived as an insurmountable impediment rather than as a normal part of the process."

While my process of running was a solo venture, unlike Sam Kaner’s suggestions for collaborative tasks, I believe the “groan zone” is well and alive all the same. Instead of misidentifying struggle as “evidence that their group is dysfunctional,” in personal matters, the negative self-talk that comes with struggle often leads to negative mindset around identity. “I’m not a runner. I should just stick to hiking.” These statements are untrue, and with even the most basic knowledge of growth mindset, we know better than to limit ourselves just because we’re faced with some struggle. If anything, new discoveries in neurology tell us the exact opposite, that brain plasticity means that anyone can learn new things to high levels. See this article by Stanford mindset mathematics professor, Jo Boaler, for more on that topic.

So, what groan zone are you in right now with your life?

What goal have you started that has led you to feeling stuck? Maybe you’re feeling unmotivated given the current stress of shelter in place. Maybe you’re scared to take the next step because it requires a leap of faith. Maybe it’s just that you’ve lost sight of all of the steps you’ve taken this far in your journey and you’re quick to see the mistakes or hardships as walls, not simple hurdles to pass.

I’m here to tell you that the time is now. Whatever it is you’re in process of, know that it too shall pass. And when you’re on the other side, the place where a task has been accomplished or a problem solved, you’ll know that the groan zone was fully worth it.

Find your ___-ing, whether it’s running, studying, working, organizing, creating… the -ing is just the process. There will inevitably be struggle. You will be faced with failures, challenges, and mistakes. But that does not mean YOU are a failure. So take the first step. You’ll feel better once you’ve reached your destination.

Push through.

You got this.

Having ran. Done. Terminado. Finito. The feeling when you crossed the finish line. That is the reason you run in the first place. I hate running, but I love having ran. Sometimes you just have to push through the process to get to the end point.

Enter the discomfort zone.

I like to listen to audiobooks during my commute or trail runs, and choose nonfiction books that are mentally stimulating, that inspire me, that make me look inward.

Can’t Stop Me by @davidgoggins is doing just that. It’s raw and honest. He reminds us not to settle for the victim mentality. There are no shortcuts, only hard work and effort. If you want to make change, you have to step outside your comfort zone and face reality. It’s about small changes each day… aka stacking tables or getting one step closer towards larger goals.

At @tbc_mountainview 🥊 tonight, our instructor Kim shared the same message. “Leave your excuses at the door.” “Get comfortable being uncomfortable.” “Quitting is not an option.” “You get energy by giving energy.” One of the best parts of today was being in a class of strangers, high-fiving gloves while doing high knees between rounds. It was consistent and although between rounds is usually our active rest or break time, doing this simple act of giving each other acknowledgement was what I needed to recharge and know I could make it through the next round. To not give up. To know that it was only 3 more minutes of kickboxing until the next set of high fives.

Do something today that steps outside your comfort zone. Push yourself past your usual limits. Don’t just give in to your “feelings”… they often lie.

People don’t always want to hear it in our modern world where comfort and emotion often overrule reality and logic.

But take what you want. I’m going to challenge myself to do something that’s difficult… that extra run, share my writing I’ve been too scared for others to read, build that habit I’ve been pushing off…

Thanks for holding me accountable. Anyone want to join?

#discomfortzone #pathofmostresistance #canthurtme #impossibletask #accountabilitymirror

2019: How will you spend your 8,760 hours? Four books to kick off the New Year!

Ahh, January 1st. Maybe you were bundled up cozy in bed after an eventful New Year’s Eve. Or possibly you’re the go-getter type, and started day 1 of the year with a hike or healthy habit. Are you thinking of what made last year’s New Year’s Resolution list and is back on for a second, third, maybe even fourth time?!

With the days turning into weeks and the weeks turning into months, we’ve all looked back in shock wondering… how did another year go by in a flash?! But when you really nit pick… it didn’t. We had the same number of days, the same number of minutes, and the same chance as every other year to turn our decisions into habits.

In 2019, how will you spend your 8,760 hours?

Before you look forward, you must first look back.

Were you constantly feeling “busy” with a long to-do list, without actually getting much done?
Did you set goals for yourself only to find yourself falling back into the same poor habits from the prior year?
Were you dragging every Monday, stressed that another weekend flew by?
Did you miss out on opportunities for fear that you weren’t good enough, prepared enough, or ready for the challenge?

If you answered yes to any (or all) of these questions, I challenge you to read one of the books below.

They were among some of my favorites for 2018 and challenged me to look at how I spent my time and how I could change my behaviors in order to meet my goals.

Book #1- The One Thing by Gary Keller

Turn to your to-do list and you’ll see how you value your time. Like most of us, you probably put the easy things on the top, saving the important items for when you’ll have better energy. If you’re like my college self, you value the quantity over quality aspect, even putting on a few items you’d already completed just to convince yourself you’ve “done” a lot (Don’t lie, I can’t be the only one who has done that!)

But, like most times, you never get to the core items due to being tired from all the menial tasks that were simply busy work. Flip that model around, and The One Thing by Gary Keller teaches you to evaluate your priorities and find, “What is the ONE THING such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?

“It’s not that we have too little time to do the things we do, it is that we feel the need to do too many things with the little time we have.” – Gary Keller

Most of my life I’ve taken pride in being a busy-body, a multi-tasker, someone who was always working. It wasn’t until I was on the brink of burnout with last school year that I realized how important prioritizing my time was for my health. Like too many of us in this modern fast-paced world, most of my to-do items revolved around my work, rather than seeing all of the other areas in my life I needed to give attention as well. So essentially, it is not a “What is the ONE THING such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary…” for work alone, but all the essential aspects of life as seen below:

What is the ONE THING for my…

Spiritual Life?

Physical Health?

Personal Life?

Key Relationships?

Job?

Business?

Finances?

My favorite quote from the book has helped me see why it was so important to re-evaluate my priorities in where I was spending my time and energy:

“Work is like a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls – family, health, friends, integrity – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”

– Gary Keller

This quote rung a bell. How often had I put all my time and energy into my students, my lessons, my grading (aka “work”) — only to be left sacrificing my own health and having to skip out on being fully present with my own family and friends? Like the first post of this site, Your mask first, you must first take care of yourself in order to take care of others. Work– the people, the responsibilities… it’ll bounce back. It’s just like how much time and energy goes into a sub day, only to realize that the class was able to carry itself fine without you (hopefully due to all the prep in setting up those routines and autonomy in your students! Not there yet? Go check out 40 Hour Teacher Workweek from Angela Watson)!

But your health? It’ll “shatter” due to inattention or inactivity.

Your family and friends? They’ll stop inviting you after too many times of you saying “No,” or “Sorry, I’m too busy,” (sadly had to learn this one the hard way).

Your integrity? I’ll answer that with one of my favorite quotes from the late John Wooden- “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” Your integrity matters as much as the rest of the more tangible aspects.

In closing, The One Thing by Gary Keller helped expose a lot of my misconceptions about productivity, reminded me to diversify my time with the multiple areas for goals rather than hyper-focusing on what I had spent my time on– work, and helped identify my ONE THING each day to make the rest of my to-do list easier or unnecessary.

How will you spend your January? Simply busy? Or productive?

A year later from first reading the book, I can’t say I’ve “mastered” the ONE THING mentality, but like any new habit, it takes intentional practice, which leads me to my next book…

Keep posted for Part TWO, coming soon…

Book #2- The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

(Here’s a sketchnote sneak peek!)

What books/videos/experiences did you learn from in 2018?

Share in the comments below!

And don’t forget to like and subscribe so you can get Part 2 delivered straight to your inbox.

Get outside.

Last weeks of summer got your mind racing with a million to-do’s?

Get outside.

There’s nothing more grounding than being in nature. When I am most anxious or stressed, I usually want to push through until I see the job done.

What happens in reality though is the moment an emotional response happens (stress/frustration/burnout), my productivity goes down to minimal, leaving me even more angry that I didn’t get done what I expected.

I’ve learned this the hard way, but anytime you’re in a situation where you start to see yourself turning toward the negative, go take a break. In particular, get outside.

As I write this post, I’m sitting on the sandy beach of Morro Bay (central CA coast). The chirps and squawks of the seagulls make me chuckle as they remind me of the student in the front of the class wanting to be heard. (Cue Finding Nemo sound clip- “Mine. Mine. Mine!”) The chilly breeze alerts my senses, reminding me to stay protected. Nature can be powerful. The consistent waves crash along the shore reminding me that even amongst the calm, there will always be a new tide, a new wave, a new obstacle ahead. You can see it as a challenge and head for a lake or pond where the ripples won’t rock you. Or you can embrace the waves of the ocean and see that although they take you for a ride, they are a consistent part of life.

When I woke up this morning, I realized I had dreamed about all the tasks I needed to get done before school starts next week. But instead, I chose to get outside. Be it a walk, a jog, or even just simply a minute of fresh air, you will benefit from the recharge of mind, body, and spirit.

The tasks have not gone away, but I’m more relaxed and level headed going into them. They will get done. This breath of fresh air was worth it.

Unglue from your screen and get yourself outside. You won’t regret it.