Growing up in an Iranian-American household, etiquette was a big deal. Hosting large family parties was the norm, and I quickly had to learn when to give two kisses (one on each cheek as a greeting) and when to give three kisses for more traditional (often older) guests. In Iranian culture, you never know when someone might stop by for “chai” (pronounced cha-ee) so it’s expected that you always have a platter with fruit, cucumbers, nuts, and cookies available on your coffee table. All of these “life lessons” I wouldn’t have learned had I not been taught proper etiquette.
A common beef with young kids is that they don’t have the same manners expected of prior generations. But whose fault is that? Etiquette is something to be taught, modeled, and expected. So what better time to teach it than right before the holidays. So that’s exactly what I did.
I started off with a little pre-assessment on what they knew to be common table manners. We had a good laugh about a few:
- Don’t feed the dog under the table! (This contribution proceeded to a very detailed story from a student’s personal experience)
- Don’t start a food fight.
- If you feel like you’re going to burp… hold it in. (That was an interesting variation haha!)
After a few quick videos on proper etiquette, it was time for our simulation. (In retrospect, I wish I would have brought in proper utensils/plates/cups, but sometimes my most creative ideas come the day of the lesson!)
I sent all the students outside and quickly “set the mood”.
Dim the lights. Check.
Turn on classical background music. Check.
“Menus” in hand. Check.
I then proceeded to let students in, one table at a time.
“Group 1, your table is now ready. Welcome to the Fancy Schmancy Restaurant. Your server will be right with you.”
The students were hooked. What was originally just a math lesson on ordering and budgeting now turned into a full on restaurant simulation- the perfect chance for them to play and practice their proper etiquette.
As each table group was greeted and given their menus, I noticed a shift in the classroom. The typical squirrely kids sat up a little straighter in their chairs. The quiet ones spoke up a little louder with confidence, requesting “a turkey leg with mashed potatoes for the entree” and “apple pie a la mode for dessert”. Some who are quick to take a challenge tested my waitress skills, asking if I had half and half to go with their coffee! 😂
The most hilarious interaction of the day:
S: “Do you have espresso?”
Me: “Yes. One shot or two?”
S: “Two please.”
Me: “Okay, one double espresso coming right up.”
S: “Thank you. Can you make it dirty?”
Me: “Excuse me?” (Was she asking for a dirty martini?🍸)
S: “I don’t know. My parents always seem to order their drinks dirty.”
HA!
First lesson in true etiquette- don’t repeat what you don’t understand!
With this little interaction, it reminded me that as adults we model etiquette all day long. The choices we make, the ways we react to others, and the patience and self-control we demonstrate during times of success and times of hardship, all lead to the behaviors children mimic.
We have the potential of raising the “smartest” generation with information at their fingertips, yet, if they don’t have manners or social skills… what good is all that knowledge? The longer I’ve taught, the more I’ve realized that it is less the academic content that I’ll expose/teach, and more the skills, mindsets, and manners that are important for young children.
Lastly, after two weeks stuck inside due to poor air quality from CA fires, playing restaurant was exactly what we ALL needed. You’re never too old for a little time to pretend. And you never know, maybe you’ll be ordering a dirty espresso at your next fancy schmancy dinner. 😉