Hello 2020. (A New Year’s post that never posted.)

Disclaimer: I wrote this post on the first day of the new year. There seemed to be a bright future ahead. No one could have known that as of October 2020 we are starting our 7th month of “sheltering in place” (aka work from home). As of this week in the SF Bay Area, school is still being taught remotely (and will be at least through December, if not also into 2021). Gyms are only open at 10% capacity, meaning many fitness classes have chosen not to resume yet until it is profitable to have enough customers to cover at least the baseline instructor/operating costs. While I’ve yet to experience it, I’ve heard that restaurants *just* have started opening “indoor” operations for 25% capacity or less, meaning most eating is still happening on side walks and in the parking lane of downtowns. Our church services have all been online through Zoom, with limited capacity outdoor services, held in the parking lots when air quality permits.

While I had all intention to “get back into blogging” in 2020, hoping to Learn in Public and share some of my thoughts and reflections as I journey through this new phase of my career- teaching, sketching, adventuring… as we all know, 2020 hasn’t exactly been the year of intention. At times it’s been the year of feeling like so much is out of our control. The year of waiting. The year of hoping. The year of feeling discouraged. While I won’t go into the ups and downs, the lessons learned (so far), and the obstacles still waiting to be overcome, here’s a post from my pre-pandemic self. I’ll share about a challenging digital sketch and a reflective mindset of where I was January 2020. Enjoy.

A new year. A new decade.

Over the holiday break I got inspired to continue an online course from @dougneill called “Learning in Public.” In the course he shares about documenting your skill development in public, rather than in private. I tend to be an avid learner (opting for books, podcasts, experiences rather than tv watching) and like challenging myself with building a growth mindset. While I make a lot more than I share, I am challenging myself to reflect more publicly, should it benefit anyone who also is struggling in the journey. I learn from so many others, and hope to return that favor as well.

A skill I’d like to improve this year is digital sketchnoting. For years I’ve done visual note taking with pen/paper, but last February I bought an iPad Pro so I could start to go digital. I had my first every workshop proposal accepted for a local CUE-affiliate teacher conference. I was presenting on sketchnoting but only knew paper/pen style. Feeling like a “fraud” for presenting at a tech conference without any form of tech, I opted to buy an iPad Pro and Apple Pencil to see what all the rage was about. I soon learned that the advantages of digital included having all my notes in one place, having access to more tools/colors than I could even imagine, and the ability to share my sketch notes easily with my friends and colleagues.

What I hadn’t realized as I started “going digital” was how much the creative constraint of only having a few pen choices made it easy to go with the flow of whatever got on the page. I’d simply get an idea, try to represent it visually, and turn any mistakes into purposeful components.

The Paradox of Choice

Switching to the @procreate app is like having access to all art mediums (pen, paint, airbrush, …) in ANY color, and the ability to ERASE. Imagine walking into Michael’s craft store with an unlimited budget and every color imaginable at your fingertips. At first it seemed like every artist’s dream. And then… the paradox of choice started to turn into paralysis.

The moment an eraser is an option, I find myself doubting every pen stroke, falling back into the traps of perfectionism I’ve been battling for years. What used to not take mental energy now turns into decision after decision. In this article, Too Much Choice (Psychology Today), the author shares that unlike our Western culture’s belief that the freedom of choice can “increase our wellbeing and happiness,” it often can lead to decision paralysis, disappointment, and self blame. While this all can seem a little heavy for a self-imposed task like doodling, the paradox of too many choices has shed light on some of the worst characteristics of my personality and habits. While it is great to be detail oriented, and people often praise others’ work for the execution and attention to every aspect of the task, what you don’t often see is a window into the mind of that perfectionist. You don’t see their self-doubt, their insecurities, their frustrations. You don’t always know that those creatives often weren’t “satisfied” with their outcome, just gave in to a deadline or external (or internal) pressure, to finally publish what they’ve been over analyzing for so long.

So, for this year, as I re-surface some old perfectionist tendencies through the challenge of learning in public and being vulnerable, I hope to journey some of my work and my reflections along the way.

In this initial stage, I’m liking the options Procreate has to offer, but the best advice I can give when trying any new app is start small. Get to know a few tools and features. Master them, and then scale up to include the “fancy” stuff. You’ll thank yourself later for the hours of choice paralysis you’ve saved by ignoring all the bells and whistles your first few goes around.

@dougneill @ianbarnard @hollypixels #foilballoons #procreateart #ipadpro #applepencil #NewYearsResolution #LearninginPublic

PS- Thanks to all the digital artists who have posted “foil balloon” art tutorials on YouTube. You saved me a lot of time in wondering how to get that to look even somewhat realistic and 3-dimensional.

For those of you who look at a static digital art piece and go… “wait, someone drew that?!” Yes- it’s a drawing. One that took A LOT of layers and patience.